what? what? what? what? what? what? what? what?

[Macklemore]

MACKLEMORE'S WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

First of all I would like to share my appreciation with Ellen and Portia for hosting the game for us. You were comprehensive despite some ridiculous things happening during the game and you handled professionalism in a way I couldn't have. It was fun, it was happy, it was crazy. Thank you for that.


I would like to give a little shoutout to Leo for being completely there for me. For understanding me. And for not turning his back to me even when he could've. Team SantaMoustache forever bitches. Go Wall Street!


To Yuz: Man I really regret not making a move with you when you came to me. I now know you were loyal and liked me for who I was as a person. That is really valuable and I respect it.


JLaw: You were a hot mess. But beneath it all you were a friend. Thank you.


Ryan: Man I never got to talk to you, but I felt you were a great person and I felt our connection was true. So thank you for that.

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So as soon as we were asked to keep this as survivor-ish as possible it made me wonder how much of a survivor were the three ladies standing right before me.

The easy thing to say is that you made it and everyone else didn't. So that's enough of a reason. And I will take that reason to congratulate the three of you for somehow managing to make it to the end. You have my respects.

However, thinking a bit further, I'm really having a hard time to keep this survivor-ish when if this was really survivor what you girls did to play the game, for the most part, wouldn't have been possible.



CHARLIZE: I probably don't. 

I really pity you. I feel you're so lame and fool of yourself that it baffles me. First of all, I think if what you were trying to do was to be the villain of this game and that was your objective (stupid objective by the way, unless you justify it with how being a villain will help you win -and not just because you felt like it would be cool to do it) i think you failed miserably. You were never the villain for anyone in this game, except for JLaw. Not when we were in the game, not when I left. If being a villain was never answering your AIM to anyone and being the most absent person in the game; then OK, maybe. But if i'm correct, we talked two or three times and the person who had to sell your case to me was Emma. Emma was the one who always told me you were with us, who always told me who you were voting for. And I believed her, because I trusted her. Not because you were convincing or you sold your story well. You never did. The week I was voted off, we had not talked like three rounds before. And I didn't even took my time to try more than 2 minutes to do so, because you were not significant whatsoever. Even when I knew I could be going home (because I knew it was me) i didn't bother to try. Because you had no game. Leo and I always felt you were bland and wanted you out, we just kept you because Emma convinced us to do so. You were just an extra vote for us but not someone who was making moves or doing anything valuable towards or against us. So I think I can congratulate you for your lucky strike. Because that's about it. Furthermore, nobody was ever your minion, not one person followed you and did what you told them. As a matter of fact, the only possibility of a minion you had at this game was Jennifer, and you burned that bridge like at week 1. Way too early. Not even knowing what you were doing. The rest of the game you just vanished into thin air and let Maggie and Emma do every absolute move there was they could make. You didn't won immunity. As a matter of fact, the only thing you did was cast votes and post the same two gifs about 20 times. Gifs that were irrelevant and proved your lack of understanding. By the way, it is baffling and kind of ridiculous that most of the guys back at jury know much more about what was going in the game than yourself. Because so far in your statements and responses you're just proving you had no idea of what happened whatsoever and people that went home about 8 days ago -or more- do. 

NO QUESTION FOR YOU. AND NO HARD FEELINGS. JUST ME SHARING MY THOUGHTS BEFORE THIS IS OVER. CONGRATULATIONS!



MAGGIE: You kept it honorable.

 I would really like to congratulate you because I think you did an amazing job in this game. You were cautious but you were strong and you proved that. I know we didn't talked much, but I can see how that was part of your strategy because you did talked to me at strategic points and allowed me to feel like maybe I had your trust and I could play with you somehow. You did an amazing UTR game. I don't blame you for lying to me, because it is part of the game; I actually applaud you for doing it with so much grace that when I went home I kind of understood you did so. The important part is I feel you didn't compromised your morale or your values as a person. Despite doing things you probably didn't wanted to do you kept it classy and hid your emotions for the most part. 

My question to you is the following: Please describe to me the specific moves and strategies you created and made in this game. I didn't talked to you much so I would really want to know what you did to see if you really deserve the vote or not.



EMMA: I wish I could really understand.

As soon as I wrote your name I felt like crying. Somehow I feel like I shouldn't even write anything to you and just let things be. However, maybe telling you how I feel is the best way to leave this behind me. You were my friend, and not from this game, but from past games. I trusted you with important things in my real life and I thought you did too. I wouldn't have expected that because we were friends, we had to play together. But you were the one who approached me several times and made me believe that. You could've done it a different way but you decided to play with a valuable and meaningful thing for me, just for the sake of winning a game. In real survivor people don't know each other (for the most part) and in real survivor there's a real price that could maybe put some personal values at risk (which wouldn't be justifiable either). But in this survivor, risking a friendship and throwing all your values to the garbage is just really really sad and shows what kind of person you are and what kind of personality you have. You of all people know how much I liked this game and how much I tried to make my own moves for the sake of our supposed alliance. You kept using my friendship round after round to shut me up, to do whatever you wanted, and even made me feel like a stupid crazy person when I felt you were hiding things from me (more than once) and were not being as true as I always was to you. You really demonstrated what type of person you were when you voted me out. You never told me I was in danger. I only knew because Leo told me. However I thought it was just Chris and Lee because they had reasons to not like me. You never gave the one person that was with you since day one, the chance to fight. And I, more than anyone, deserved to fight after all I had put into this game. I still don't understand why you choose a sourless and inactive duo over someone that truly liked you and gave you his all. I probably won't ever understand what did I do to you for you to let me be the one voted out and only post a: Bye Mack :/ like you couldn't give a shit. I hope you win this game, because after everything you compromised to do so, it would be really sad for you to be left with nothing.

My question to you is the following: What made you choose the Maggie-Charlize-Emma alliance over the Leo-Mack-Emma alliance to go to the end? Be as specific and detailed as possible.


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I LOVE YOU ALL. NO HARD FEELINGS. JUST ME EXPRESSING WHAT I COULDN'T BEFORE. IT WAS A GREAT GAME. AND THANK YOU.

[Emma Watson]

Hallo, Mack.

Ordinarily I answer questions in the order that I get them, but I really don't want to leave this unanswered, because I think you deserve some answers from me.

Mar 20, 2014 21:01:15 GMT Macklemore said:

EMMA: I wish I could really understand.

As soon as I wrote your name I felt like crying. Somehow I feel like I shouldn't even write anything to you and just let things be. However, maybe telling you how I feel is the best way to leave this behind me. You were my friend, and not from this game, but from past games. I trusted you with important things in my real life and I thought you did too. I wouldn't have expected that because we were friends, we had to play together. But you were the one who approached me several times and made me believe that. You could've done it a different way but you decided to play with a valuable and meaningful thing for me, just for the sake of winning a game. 

Thank you for being honest about your feelings. I think you have the wrong perception of me. I knew that we were friends, and that was a huge portion of why I wanted to work together with you. But our alliance started a long time before I knew who you were. I liked you a lot and wanted to work with you to the end, and being prior friends had nothing to do with that. I was already planning on doing that. When I found out that I knew you and we were already friends, it was the cherry on top of the cake. 

I did not play with friendships to win the game, and I think my answer to Yuzuru demonstrates that. I'm friends with Chris, but I told him to his face I would vote him out later. I had prior relationships with Yuzuru, and I chose not to use that connection to get ahead. I was friends with Charlize, and didn't reveal myself to her until I had absolutely no other options. Playing the friendship card was an absolute last-ditch strategy that I used only when there was no other choice. I'm not the sort of person who just uses friendships to get by, and I've been quite hurt by other people who've done that to me in the past. 

In real survivor people don't know each other (for the most part) and in real survivor there's a real price that could maybe put some personal values at risk (which wouldn't be justifiable either). But in this survivor, risking a friendship and throwing all your values to the garbage is just really really sad and shows what kind of person you are and what kind of personality you have. You of all people know how much I liked this game and how much I tried to make my own moves for the sake of our supposed alliance. You kept using my friendship round after round to shut me up, to do whatever you wanted, and even made me feel like a stupid crazy person when I felt you were hiding things from me (more than once) and were not being as true as I always was to you.

I'm not really sure what to say about this. I don't think that I threw our friendship away, and in fact I did an awful lot to try and preserve it as best I could. I know that you liked this game and that you put a lot of effort into it, and that's one of the reasons why I worked so hard to help you as much as I could. I wasn't trying to shut you up or boss you around, I just happened to know a lot of the other things that were going on around the game, and I was trying to help keep you from talking to the wrong people or making the wrong moves, because it would have gotten you voted out much sooner. I was trying to protect you, and I'm sorry if that made you feel stupid or crazy. That was never my intent. 

Was I hiding things? Yes. Was I being untrue? Perhaps. But there were a lot of times where it was hard to be completely honest with you. During the round when Ryan left, you were absolutely certain that I was making secret alliances with JLaw and other people, and that made me think that if I tried to tell you everything I was doing, you would have felt that I was plotting against you, and that would have made it much, much harder to protect you. So... whether or not you can respect what I did, I hope that you can at least respect my reasons. 

You really demonstrated what type of person you were when you voted me out. You never told me I was in danger. I only knew because Leo told me. However I thought it was just Chris and Lee because they had reasons to not like me. You never gave the one person that was with you since day one, the chance to fight. And I, more than anyone, deserved to fight after all I had put into this game.

I don't really know what to say. I didn't intentionally hide the fact that you were getting votes. It just sort of... happened. As you know, I was very sick during the game, and there were a lot of times where I would literally pass out from exhaustion at random times during the day. That was one of those days, where I was on antibiotics and just too sick to do much. It sounds like a lame excuse, but it's the truth. With what little time I had, I was trying to stop it and get the target off of you, and doing my best to save you. I didn't tell you you were in danger because I just didn't think of it, and I'm sorry for that. It was a mistake on my part, and I really don't have a better explanation than that. 

I still don't understand why you choose a sourless and inactive duo over someone that truly liked you and gave you his all. I probably won't ever understand what did I do to you for you to let me be the one voted out and only post a: Bye Mack :/ like you couldn't give a shit. I hope you win this game, because after everything you compromised to do so, it would be really sad for you to be left with nothing.

When I said "Bye Mack :/" it wasn't because I didn't care. In fact, :/ is actually the face I use to express the emotion of hating the way life is working out, and knowing that it's hopeless and I couldn't stop things from happening. It's not an "I don't care" face, it's an "I do care and I wish I could something, but I can't" face. 

It's because I was furious with Charlize and Maggie and Chris for not listening to me, and for ignoring my wishes and voting you out instead of Lee. What I really wanted to post was something like, "Mack, I am so pissed off and sad right now, and I swear I will do whatever it takes to crush the people who did this to you." I was incredibly angry that they voted you out, because you didn't deserve to go. The reason why I didn't go on a great big explosive rant about it is that... well, it wouldn't have helped anything. I wanted revenge, and a big explosion would have let them know I was pissed and given them reasons to shut me down. If they thought I was with them and being a loyal soldier, then I could still infiltrate them and break them up and stop them from winning. If I was gone, one of those three won the game. I wanted to stop that, so I went underground, because it was the only thing I could do. 

And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that. I should have PMed you or talked to you on AIM about it, and I didn't. That's my own stupid fault. I dropped the ball there, and I'm sorry that you've been feeling hurt and betrayed this whole time, because you're the one person I never wanted to hurt in this game. 

My question to you is the following: What made you choose the Maggie-Charlize-Emma alliance over the Leo-Mack-Emma alliance to go to the end? Be as specific and detailed as possible.

What made me choose them? Nothing. I didn't choose them. They had the numbers and were going to the finals regardless. The only thing I chose was to go to the end with them instead of letting them vote me off next. There was never any point where I turned my back on you and Leo to go with them. In fact, I basically gave that alliance the finger by voting for Chris, and refusing to go along with their plans. Chris in particular was pretty angry with me, and gave me seven kinds of hell for refusing to just lay down and let you guys get picked off. If I hadn't stepped up, Leo would have been gone before the merge, and you would probably have left before Yuzuru. I was the one who went to bat every round, saying that they needed to keep the two of you around longer, and I never voted against either of you. I chose you guys over them, and as a result I almost went home immediately after you did. I didn't abandon you guys, and I never stopped caring about you. The only time I ever "chose" them was after you and Leo were gone. 

So... there you have it, Mack. I'm sorry that you feel I'm some heartless manipulator, because that's genuinely not me. That's not how I play, and that's not how I want to be seen. I considered you a true friend, and I did everything I could to keep my alliance to you, even when that meant putting myself in danger. I guess that wasn't good enough, and I should have done more. Above all, I'm sorry that I let you down. Regardless of how you vote, I hope you can forgive me. 

~ Emma